We say it all the time… Comfort is not good for the organism. What we don’t say enough, though, is that everyone has gotten too damn comfortable with literally everything, and it’s leading us to be weak, sub-primal, fear-riddled, and incapable of growth.
How bad has it gotten?
We’ve said enough about creature comforts like pillowy beds and sneakers, pharmaceuticals and mind-numbing substances, microwave dinners, television programs designed to tune you out, and pencil pushing desk jobs that impede discomfort and growth, but that’s just the surface. We’ve talked about how we’ve gotten so soft that even our gyms are comfortable. Dieticians on Instagram are not telling us the hard truth (if they know the hard truth), but instead they’re telling us that Halloween candy can be fuel for your run, which is likely a run that you’re told ought to be easy rather than a blood-burning effort… because that’d be too hard. But we want to talk about something different.
We suck at communication.
This is what we really want to talk about. We’ve even gotten soft when it comes to personal relationships, communication, and personal interaction with other human beings. We refuse to get uncomfortable.
- We’re afraid to have hard conversations with people we love. We don’t hold our friends and family accountable for their words, actions, and mistakes.
- We don’t get uncomfortable enough to tell people when we’ve screwed up.
- We don’t sit our kids down and have the tough conversations and instead we rely on teachers and other misguided kids to teach them, which is a scary proposition, but what’s scarier to many is playing the role of teacher themselves.
- When we DO confront people over something difficult, we often resort to text messages instead of having the testicular fortitude to confront the other party face-to-face, or at least have the decency to pick up the phone.
- We even create echo-chambers on social media by unfollowing, unfriending, or blocking anyone who disagrees with us regarding anything at all, from politics to choice of diet to exercise style to whether they like cats or dogs better… because we’re scared to confront anyone regarding anything. We’ve literally gotten so weak that we are scared to upset irrational and overemotional human beings ANONYMOUSLY. Even safe spaces aren’t safe enough for this weak society.
- We pursue romantic relationships anonymously on apps from our phones instead of meeting other human beings in our natural surroundings.
Why do we do these things?
We’re scared of being uncomfortable. It starts with soft mattresses and funnels all the way down to being scared to say anything that may hurt someone’s feelings or put ourselves out there in any fashion no matter how trivial a situation it is.
But… At The Fittest, we’re different. We take Lifestyle Lever #9 as seriously as all the others. We BOND with each other, our families, and our tribes, not just when things are good, but when things get tough. Part of bonding is fierce accountability. It’s knowing that we have each other’s backs in good times and bad. We help each other grow through discomfort and getting real. Sometimes we disagree and that’s a beautiful thing; to have a hard conversation, respectfully disagree (even argue). Growth and learning happens in those moments and we’re all better for it.
We want that for you.
So where do you start? Just like the other levers, BOND takes practice. Here’s a few suggestions:
- Eat your nose to tail dinner every night, EVERY NIGHT, with your family all sitting around the same table, without telephones, televisions, or other distractions. Talk to each other.
- When you see your friends screwing up, tell them. They may be shocked the first time you do it, but they’ll not only thank you later, they’ll feel more comfortable telling you when you inevitably screw up. When they do, be receptive instead of defensive.
- Don’t block, unfriend, or unfollow people you disagree with on social media. Maybe they’re complete morons, but maybe they have a perspective that you can learn a thing or two from. Even if they don’t, sit with that discomfort anyway. Safe spaces are for babies and oversensitive vegan college kids. If you’re reading this, you’re likely neither of those things.
- Stop meeting your friends and romantic partners on the internet. Walk up to other human beings in real life and talk to them with your mouth. Strike out. Get rejected. Hear the word “no.” The relationships you do forge will be stuff of genuine legend.
- When it’s time to have a tough conversation, put the damn phone down and have those conversations in person. If you’re not in the same proximity, get on a Zoom. NO TEXTING.
Email us. We’ll help you.
If you’re scared to have a tough conversation or don’t know how to approach deep, fulfilling social bonds, start by getting uncomfortable enough to email us and tell us about it. Our performance experts are ready to talk to you and help.