Laziness is good for Big Pharma
The sheer and utter laziness of an American populace hell bent on not doing anything for their health if it requires effort of any kind is astounding, but it’s also an opportunity… It’s an opportunity for the US pharmaceutical industry to flood the market with some of the most disturbingly dumb, certifiably bonkers substances imaginable… ESPECIALLY when it comes to the simple pursuit of being less fat. Now, as we reach expert-level slothful loafing, we’ve got…
Anorexia in a syringe.
This “miracle” drug, that goes by the name of Wegovy, Ozempic, and Monjour, is a substance called semaglutide, and fuck if it doesn’t work. Kind of.
What do I mean, “kind of?”
Well, ladies and gents, if the only goal you have is to make the big number on the scale a small number, this shit is fantastic, but that’s where the “benefits” begin and end.
What is it?
Semaglutide is what’s called a GLP-1 receptor agonist, which stimulates postprandial insulin secretion, reduces glucagon secretion, and delays gastric emptying. That’s just a super fancy way of saying that it makes food loiter in the stomach like teenagers at the fucking mall, which makes the user of the drug feel full as shit all the time… so they don’t eat. At all.
So if you take this stuff, you’ll totally lose weight. Not eating will do that to a person.
So like I said, if the number on the scale is what matters to you, shoot that shit in your ass once a week and let that number plummet like CNN’s ratings. But before you do, here’s the OTHER shit that happens when you are medically inducing an eating disorder.
- You lose a little body fat, but you also lose muscle and, I’m not bullshitting you… bone density. Basically you go from peak physical fatness to peak 90 year old osteoporotic lady.
- You get a dumpy ass and droopy face. I’m not kidding. If you take a drug that makes you lose fat, muscle tissue, and bone to the tune of 50 pounds a month, you’re going to look like a popped balloon. Forums the internet over have coined terms like “Ozempic face,” “Wegovy butt,” and even “semaglutide finger.” Yes… finger. Loose finger skin doesn’t sound like something I’d be gunning for, but maybe that’s just me.
- You get tired as shit. When you don’t eat, you don’t have energy. This one is self-explanatory so I’ll save the witty quips mixed with science for another side effect.
- Brain fog. This goes along with being tired as shit.
- Scurvy. Yup… the shit the people got in the 1400s when they were riding rickety old boats to the new world without a GPS, took a wrong turn, and ran out of food. If you’re a large person who clearly has either not been taught how to eat satiating, nutrient-dense food or just doesn’t have the discipline to actually do it… and then you begin taking injectable anorexia, the food you DO eat is likely not all that nutritious. That means things like, you know, vitamins… you’re not getting those. You kind of need them, unless you want kwashiorkor, anemia, scurvy, or marasmus, and all the side effects that come from said deficiencies like hair loss, low energy, and, ummm… dying.
- Permanently destroyed metabolism. This is the overwhelming favorite of the pharmaceutical industry whose motto ought to be, “a patient cured is a customer lost.” When there used to be more of you and all of a sudden there’s significantly less, your metabolism hits the floor. Your body adjusts to the calories you’re not putting in your mouth anymore. So… IF you come off this shit, you're hungry as fuck, and you haven’t developed the knowledge and discipline to do what’s required to be fit… and you’re malnourished so your body is craving nutrition, you eat like a ravenous hyena. That makes you fatter than ever. Worse, you’re fatter than ever without the musculoskeletal system that used to support all that fat because you now resemble that aforementioned brittle boned old woman. What does this mean? Once you go on this wonderful Ozempic journey, you’re going to have to ride that train… forever.
If taking this drug still sounds like something you want to take, by all means, I’m a big fan of both personal liberty and accountability. Do your thing. Give your money, and ultimately your life, to big pharma.
If you would rather do the whole weight loss thing the old-fashioned way that requires work, discipline, and moving heavy shit, but also results in you becoming the FITTEST, most DOMINANT version of yourself, we are here to guide you, help you, and hold you accountable… for FREE. Click HERE to email us.
It’s up to you… Loose finger skin or tight abs.